| vegas birthday |
[01 Mar 2008|05:35am] |
anything is possible in vegas... we found someone taller than wes.
he's so tall that the view from his raised arm is comparable to the eiffel tower one
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| since nobody replied to my other post... |
[30 Dec 2007|10:43am] |
a non geek version of what i was after.
*update* keep refreshing, he's moving fast ;)
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TECHIE, SAN DIEGO? (not anymore)
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| ATTN ALL GEEKS |
[27 Dec 2007|06:48pm] |
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someone should make a where's techie tracking program so we can update it (and place bets on whether he'll make it back home before new years)
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| "who needs DSL when you have LSD" |
[11 Dec 2007|11:40pm] |
[23:28] starbleam7: oh hey youre american, i have a tradition question for you... what's that whole "12 days of christmas" thing all about? are you supposed to do something on each of the 12 days?
[23:29] james: the twelve days of christmass, i think, is more of a european tradition; the first day is 12/25 and goes on from there, it has something to do with the religious calendar, but appart from that i don't really know
[23:30] starbleam7: ohhhh
[23:30] starbleam7: i thought it was dec 13th until the 24th
[23:31] james: i could be wrong, but i think it starts on the 25
[23:31] james: which is odd, because Jesus was born in the spring
[23:31] starbleam7: well in uruguay its summer during christmas
[23:31] starbleam7: thats how it was for me growing up
[23:32] james: ah, the southern hemisphere
[23:32] james: but how did santa get his sleigh to work, and how did the raindeer take the heat
[23:33] starbleam7: well. they were half robot half reindeer
[23:33] starbleam7: and the sleigh doesnt NEED snow, it flies.
[23:33] james: ah, see that makes more sense
[23:33] starbleam7: add a little light speed magic for him to deliver all those millions of toys at the same exact time and voila! christmas.
[23:34] starbleam7: as for his fatass fitting through chimneys, you got me.
[23:34] james: but time would slow down, and he would then be late, so he must start out before the eve
[23:35] starbleam7: only if he crosses the int'l date line
[23:35] starbleam7: taht's why africa and asia don't celebrate christmas
[23:35] james: he must hate missionaries
[23:35] james: and christian antarctic scientists
[23:35] starbleam7: and whatever country it is that holds cows sacred... they leave dry cookies and no milk
[23:36] starbleam7: i should be the santa of the eastern hemisphere... i love falafel and curry and sushi
[23:36] james: even if he is fat, he must have an incredible metabolism
[23:36] starbleam7: well travelling at lightspeed you dont age therefore you must not gain weight either
[23:37] james: but mass becomes infinite, so even without eating cookies he eventually weighs as much as the universe
[23:37] starbleam7: maybe tahts how he got fat
[23:38] starbleam7: for 200 years he's been travelling at lightspeed for about 2 days per year
[23:38] james: maybe cookies is just a substitute for somethink lacking between him and mrs. claus
[23:38] starbleam7: well they dont have viagra in the north pole
[23:39] starbleam7: or maybe the elves just have a thing for mrs claus
[23:39] james: and the cold tends to bring things down a bit
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| a busy november |
[05 Dec 2007|01:32pm] |
a lot has happened since my last post...
one of our best friends lost his girlfriend. another of our best friends found a girlfriend.
both our sets of parents lost most of their assets in the most interesting ways:
methlab hideout, explosion, foreclosure without late payments, and "sold to the next person who walks by".
i took nathan to paris
we got assimilated
but it was all worth it because i got to do the picard maneuver
WHILE SITTING IN HIS CHAIR.
and i've had a cold (my first one in years) that has lasted 2 weeks now.
both our families have had it since thanksgiving. speaking of which,
we had 4 parties that day. only 2 were properly documented:
then some jackass tried to stuff my kid in a fridge
(it's okay, his car got repo'd the next day...
and he lost his job. ok i feel bad now.)
also, there are new puppies: so if you want one, msg me fast.
they're about 2 weeks old now. you can have them next month.
and last but not least, the PSYCH guy sent us a letter :)
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| i'm cheating on LJ with FB |
[14 Nov 2007|10:11am] |
so i joined facebook and started looking for stuff to join... i found this awesome group:
right off the bat, there's a comment on there that kicks ass:
once, chuck norris tried to roundhouse kick john mayer in the balls.unfortunately, john mayer doesn't have any balls! so it was arkward silences all round...
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| PARTAY |
[13 Nov 2007|04:28pm] |
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who wants to hang out this weekend? i need a break and nathan's going out.
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| hey tech this is what i needed help with earlier... |
[08 Nov 2007|04:05pm] |
here's a roflkopter if i've ever seen one...
wes, i told you my internet was slow this morning, remember? here's some proof:
wait, it gets better. i tried uploading only 3 items to shorten the time:
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| campfire BS |
[04 Nov 2007|04:56am] |
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| where have all the einsteins gone? |
[04 Nov 2007|02:51am] |
we laugh when we see a "_______ for dummies" book and think "how can people possibly need that sort of advice?" - like using a browser or going on a date. but it seems a lot of books and tv shows lately have been a 'for dummies' book wrapped in a different title.
yesterday i picked up a book called "perfect party food" thinking it would help me by having innovative things in it that weren't already obvious. but all it was was: *make sure you buy ice before your guests arrive. *to make a mimosa you add orange juice and champagne. *don't forget to thaw out your frozen foods the day before. COME ON! i could have catered my own damn party in the time it took to page through that book.
last week i tivoed some scrapbooking shows thinking maybe they would enlighten me with better layouts or new ideas. it was worse than watching toddler shows. what do we do now? we put this paper here. what paper? this paper. what do we do with it? we put it here. where? here. ooh, ahh.
my dad interviewed for a schoolbus driver position and the people there who failed the test were given the opportunity to retake it. my dad, who speaks 20 words of english, had to retake it and passed the 2nd time. i asked how many chances the other people got and he said unlimited. they let the same people go in each day and retake the same exact test over and over again forever until they pass it. what's the point of giving them a test then?
the homeschooling books for elementary grades are even retarded. they give you 2nd grade math problems and then a teacher's book with the solutions. if you're a parent who can't do 2nd grade math then you shouldn't be homeschooling your kid. or being a parent. i failed math in middleschool, highschool and college but i don't need an answer guide to (3+7)2=
everyday we pass by some professionally made sign with the apostrophe in the wrong place.
most doctors i've taken my kid to make me wonder how on earth they ever got a degree. strep throat and diaper rash are very common things so how can a legitimate doctor get the two mixed up?
my husband is literally sleepwalking through college and passing with a B.
my son got in trouble in 2nd grade for correcting his teacher.
so don't bitch when you see eastern hemispherians taking all the nasa jobs. according to our standards they probably qualified for them in 4th grade.
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[02 Nov 2007|11:21am] |
this is like 6 months belated but i just saw the video again and remembered. and since i've been up since yesterday and it's now almost noon, i'm kinda trippy.
the "say it right" music video by nelly furtado featuring timbaland
whoever edited together all those pieces of film is a freaking genius. i give them 110 points for musicality. also for making nelly look like she can dance by splicing together just the right .003 seconds of video every now and then when she accidentally makes a move that looks good.
i want to know who the main dancer guy is. the white guy in the middle. so i can leave wes for him. he's a fucking genius as well just for moving like that. cuz you can tell he works hard, he wasn't born with it but he does a damn good jaerb.
timbaland cracks me up. his facial expressions remind me of the "tokking pickcha" old guy from "singin' in the rain". plus, he always guest stars on music videos just to say "eh" a lot.
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| "S" pan yole |
[29 Oct 2007|05:04am] |
ok so noggin just tried to teach my kid "spanish"
A Zool: no, not a video game character... the color blue, apparently.
Bear Day: a national holiday or spanish for 'green'? you be the judge.
Row Hoe: a hooker on a boat? no, the color of her lipstick.
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[29 Oct 2007|12:57am] |
is 0 degrees an acute angle?
is it a straight angle?
is it even an angle at all?
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| How to guilt trip your parents when you're 8 |
[08 Oct 2007|11:38pm] |
1. when sent to your room for punching the new xbox elite controller,
whine and complain the whole way there explaining how
stressed the game made you and how difficult it is to control
2. while in your room, create a melodramatic masterpiece in colored pencils and pastels
3. be sure to include emotional words in said masterpiece such as "feelings"
4. insert a tear drop dangling from the ending of some random word in the title
5. make your sketch in monochromatic hues so that when you add the tears in bright electric blue it really pops
6. draw a charlie brown distressed mouth on your self-portrait
7. in case it wasn't clear enough, write a caption of what the drawing portrays - just to make sure you got the point across
8. draw yourself 50% smaller but your tears 750% larger than actual size
9. make big arrows pointing to the over-sized tears in case anyone missed them
10. write a giant subtitle that reads "tears" so that nothing gets lost in translation
all jokes aside, i tell him constantly to use art as a form of self-expression and to use it when he's angry or sad. so technically this drawing is a good thing. it's still funny as hell, though.
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| oh yeah, i forgot... we met famous people. hillarious ones at that. |
[08 Oct 2007|10:22pm] |
wow, we look sober in these pictures!
gabriel iglesias
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| cari been in the caribbean |
[08 Oct 2007|08:06pm] |
we got back a week ago but i just now finished all the laundry from the trip. that's only because i spent the first 5 days downloading and deleting 12000 spam e-mails.
here are a couple of pictures from last month's adventure:
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| the uruguayan consul is a poopiehead |
[07 Sep 2007|02:14pm] |
this week proves that nothing inherently uruguayan can be good.
anyone want a post card from nawlins? as i am being forced to fly there for something that takes all of 3 seconds!
damn you bush, if only you hadn't stuck around for so many years i'd have gotten my usa naturalization a long time ago and none of this would be an issue.
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