urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn cari cari 2008-05-31T10:47:06Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:158405 2008-05-31T10:35:55Z 2008-05-31T10:47:06Z <img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/102_09777.jpg"><br /><br />anything is possible in vegas... we found someone taller than wes.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/102_138333.jpg"><br /><br />he's so tall that the view from his raised arm is comparable to the eiffel tower one<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/102_138000.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:157621 2008-01-07T20:57:24Z 2008-01-07T20:57:24Z <a href="http://www.meetthespartans.com/">http://www.meetthespartans.com/</a><br /><br />I'M GOING urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:157403 2008-01-07T20:54:32Z 2008-01-07T20:54:32Z <a href="http://www.nekogames.jp/mt/2008/01/cursor10.html">http://www.nekogames.jp/mt/2008/01/cursor10.html</a><br /><br /><br />DOO ET. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:157077 2007-12-28T16:46:16Z 2007-12-29T23:53:01Z a non geek version of what i was after.<br /><br /><big><i>*update* keep refreshing, he's moving fast ;)</i></big><br /><br /><br /><b>WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TECHIE, SAN DIEGO?</b> (not anymore)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/TECHsofar.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:156876 2007-12-28T00:49:28Z 2007-12-28T00:49:28Z someone should make a <b>where's techie</b> tracking program so we can update it (and place bets on whether he'll make it back home before new years) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:156247 2007-12-12T05:44:35Z 2007-12-12T05:44:35Z [23:28] starbleam7: oh hey youre american, i have a tradition question for you... what's that whole "12 days of christmas" thing all about? are you supposed to do something on each of the 12 days?<br />[23:29] james: the twelve days of christmass, i think, is more of a european tradition; the first day is 12/25 and goes on from there, it has something to do with the religious calendar, but appart from that i don't really know<br />[23:30] starbleam7: ohhhh<br />[23:30] starbleam7: i thought it was dec 13th until the 24th<br />[23:31] james: i could be wrong, but i think it starts on the 25<br />[23:31] james: which is odd, because Jesus was born in the spring<br />[23:31] starbleam7: well in uruguay its summer during christmas<br />[23:31] starbleam7: thats how it was for me growing up<br />[23:32] james: ah, the southern hemisphere<br />[23:32] james: but how did santa get his sleigh to work, and how did the raindeer take the heat<br />[23:33] starbleam7: well. they were half robot half reindeer<br />[23:33] starbleam7: and the sleigh doesnt NEED snow, it flies.<br />[23:33] james: ah, see that makes more sense<br />[23:33] starbleam7: add a little light speed magic for him to deliver all those millions of toys at the same exact time and voila! christmas.<br />[23:34] starbleam7: as for his fatass fitting through chimneys, you got me.<br />[23:34] james: but time would slow down, and he would then be late, so he must start out before the eve<br />[23:35] starbleam7: only if he crosses the int'l date line<br />[23:35] starbleam7: taht's why africa and asia don't celebrate christmas<br />[23:35] james: he must hate missionaries<br />[23:35] james: and christian antarctic scientists<br />[23:35] starbleam7: and whatever country it is that holds cows sacred... they leave dry cookies and no milk<br />[23:36] starbleam7: i should be the santa of the eastern hemisphere... i love falafel and curry and sushi<br />[23:36] james: even if he is fat, he must have an incredible metabolism<br />[23:36] starbleam7: well travelling at lightspeed you dont age therefore you must not gain weight either<br />[23:37] james: but mass becomes infinite, so even without eating cookies he eventually weighs as much as the universe<br />[23:37] starbleam7: maybe tahts how he got fat<br />[23:38] starbleam7: for 200 years he's been travelling at lightspeed for about 2 days per year<br />[23:38] james: maybe cookies is just a substitute for somethink lacking between him and mrs. claus<br />[23:38] starbleam7: well they dont have viagra in the north pole<br />[23:39] starbleam7: or maybe the elves just have a thing for mrs claus<br />[23:39] james: and the cold tends to bring things down a bit urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:155687 2007-12-05T20:21:26Z 2007-12-05T20:32:11Z a lot has happened since my last post...<br /><br />one of our best friends lost his girlfriend. another of our best friends found a girlfriend.<br /><br />both our sets of parents lost most of their assets in the most interesting ways:<br />methlab hideout, explosion, foreclosure without late payments, and "sold to the next person who walks by".<br /><br />i took nathan to paris<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/paris.jpg"><br /><br />we got assimilated<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/borg.jpg"><br /><br />but it was all worth it because i got to do the picard maneuver<br />WHILE SITTING IN HIS CHAIR.<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/bridge.jpg"><br /><br />and i've had a cold (my first one in years) that has lasted 2 weeks now.<br />both our families have had it since thanksgiving. speaking of which,<br />we had 4 parties that day. only 2 were properly documented:<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/thanks1.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/thanks2.jpg"><br /><br />then some jackass tried to stuff my kid in a fridge<br />(it's okay, his car got repo'd the next day...<br />and he lost his job. ok i feel bad now.)<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/stuff.jpg"><br /><br />also, there are new puppies: so if you want one, msg me fast.<br />they're about 2 weeks old now. you can have them next month.<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/pups.jpg"><br /><br />and last but not least, the PSYCH guy sent us a letter :)<br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/psych.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:155514 2007-11-14T16:14:54Z 2007-11-14T16:14:54Z so i joined facebook and started looking for stuff to join... i found this awesome group:<br /><br /><img src="http://profile.ak.facebook.com/object/1311/83/n2209621349_21767.jpg"><br /><br />right off the bat, there's a comment on there that kicks ass:<br /><br /><i>once, chuck norris tried to roundhouse kick john mayer in the balls.unfortunately, john mayer doesn't have any balls! so it was arkward silences all round...</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:155381 2007-11-13T22:30:07Z 2007-11-13T22:30:07Z who wants to hang out this weekend? i need a break and nathan's going out. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:155094 2007-11-08T22:07:34Z 2007-11-08T22:30:08Z here's a roflkopter if i've ever seen one...<br /><br />wes, i told you my internet was slow this morning, remember? here's some proof:<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/wtf.jpg"><br /><br /><br />wait, it gets better. i tried uploading only 3 items to shorten the time:<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/wtf2.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:154755 2007-11-04T10:59:11Z 2007-11-04T11:00:12Z <center><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/campfireBS.jpg"></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:154509 2007-11-04T09:17:50Z 2007-11-04T09:23:49Z we laugh when we see a "_______ for dummies" book and think "how can people possibly need that sort of advice?" - like using a browser or going on a date. but it seems a lot of books and tv shows lately have been a 'for dummies' book wrapped in a different title.<br /><br />yesterday i picked up a book called "perfect party food" thinking it would help me by having innovative things in it that weren't already obvious. but all it was was: *make sure you buy ice before your guests arrive. *to make a mimosa you add orange juice and champagne. *don't forget to thaw out your frozen foods the day before. COME ON! i could have catered my own damn party in the time it took to page through that book.<br /><br />last week i tivoed some scrapbooking shows thinking maybe they would enlighten me with better layouts or new ideas. it was worse than watching toddler shows. what do we do now? we put this paper here. what paper? this paper. what do we do with it? we put it here. where? here. ooh, ahh.<br /><br />my dad interviewed for a schoolbus driver position and the people there who failed the test were given the opportunity to retake it. my dad, who speaks 20 words of english, had to retake it and passed the 2nd time. i asked how many chances the other people got and he said unlimited. they let the same people go in each day and retake the same exact test over and over again forever until they pass it. what's the point of giving them a test then?<br /><br />the homeschooling books for elementary grades are even retarded. they give you 2nd grade math problems and then a teacher's book with the solutions. if you're a parent who can't do 2nd grade math then you shouldn't be homeschooling your kid. or being a parent. i failed math in middleschool, highschool and college but i don't need an answer guide to (3+7)2=<br /><br />everyday we pass by some professionally made sign with the apostrophe in the wrong place.<br /><br />most doctors i've taken my kid to make me wonder how on earth they ever got a degree. strep throat and diaper rash are very common things so how can a legitimate doctor get the two mixed up?<br /><br />my husband is literally sleepwalking through college and passing with a B.<br /><br />my son got in trouble in 2nd grade for correcting his teacher.<br /><br />so don't bitch when you see eastern hemispherians taking all the nasa jobs. according to our standards they probably qualified for them in 4th grade. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:154265 2007-11-02T16:28:57Z 2007-11-02T16:30:49Z this is like 6 months belated but i just saw the video again and remembered. and since i've been up since yesterday and it's now almost noon, i'm kinda trippy.<br /><br /><b>the "say it right" music video by nelly furtado featuring timbaland</b><br /><br />whoever edited together all those pieces of film is a freaking genius. i give them 110 points for musicality. also for making nelly look like she can dance by splicing together just the right .003 seconds of video every now and then when she accidentally makes a move that looks good.<br /><br />i want to know who the main dancer guy is. the white guy in the middle. so i can leave wes for him. he's a fucking genius as well just for moving like that. cuz you can tell he works hard, he wasn't born with it but he does a damn good jaerb.<br /><br />timbaland cracks me up. his facial expressions remind me of the "tokking pickcha" old guy from "singin' in the rain". plus, he always guest stars on music videos just to say "eh" a lot. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:153951 2007-10-29T10:05:39Z 2007-10-29T10:09:24Z ok so noggin just tried to teach my kid "spanish"<br /><br />A Zool: no, not a video game character... the color blue, apparently.<br />Bear Day: a national holiday or spanish for 'green'? you be the judge.<br />Row Hoe: a hooker on a boat? no, the color of her lipstick. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:153730 2007-10-29T06:00:12Z 2007-10-29T06:00:12Z is 0 degrees an acute angle?<br /><br />is it a straight angle?<br /><br />is it even an angle at all? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:153459 2007-10-10T01:00:36Z 2007-10-10T01:00:36Z <a href="http://english.pravda.ru/img/idb/photo/under_water_3.jpg">http://english.pravda.ru/img/idb/photo/under_water_3.jpg</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:153115 2007-10-09T04:41:25Z 2007-10-09T04:48:27Z 1. when sent to your room for punching the new xbox elite controller,<br />whine and complain the whole way there explaining how<br />stressed the game made you and how difficult it is to control<br />2. while in your room, create a melodramatic masterpiece in colored pencils and pastels<br />3. be sure to include emotional words in said masterpiece such as "feelings"<br />4. insert a tear drop dangling from the ending of some random word in the title<br />5. make your sketch in monochromatic hues so that when you add the tears in bright electric blue it really pops<br />6. draw a charlie brown distressed mouth on your self-portrait<br />7. in case it wasn't clear enough, write a caption of what the drawing portrays - just to make sure you got the point across<br />8. draw yourself 50% smaller but your tears 750% larger than actual size<br />9. make big arrows pointing to the over-sized tears in case anyone missed them<br />10. write a giant subtitle that reads "tears" so that nothing gets lost in translation<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/2007-10-08manipuNATE.jpg"><br /><br />all jokes aside, i tell him constantly to use art as a form of self-expression and to use it when he's angry or sad. so technically this drawing is a good thing. it's still funny as hell, though. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:153080 2007-10-09T03:24:27Z 2007-10-09T03:26:46Z wow, we look sober in these pictures!<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/april/wowwedontlookdrunk.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/april/werenotfatwerefluffy.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.latinostandup.com/pages/gigl.html">gabriel iglesias</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:152767 2007-10-09T01:10:17Z 2007-10-09T01:10:43Z we got back a week ago but i just now finished all the laundry from the trip. that's only because i spent the first 5 days downloading and deleting 12000 spam e-mails.<br /><br />here are a couple of pictures from last month's adventure:<br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/waterinmexico.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/jamaicamon.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:152152 2007-09-07T19:22:27Z 2007-09-07T19:22:27Z this week proves that nothing inherently uruguayan can be good.<br /><br />anyone want a post card from nawlins? as i am being forced to fly there for something that takes all of 3 seconds!<br /><br />damn you bush, if only you hadn't stuck around for so many years i'd have gotten my usa naturalization a long time ago and none of this would be an issue. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:152000 2007-09-06T06:43:59Z 2007-09-06T06:43:59Z every woman with even half a brain should read this book:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.serabeak.com">http://www.serabeak.com</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:151665 2007-09-05T15:54:06Z 2007-09-05T15:59:12Z spam is becoming so abundant that it's like horoscopes, just vague enough yet specific... i get this one titled "eliminate that toe fungus!" and i'm all looking around thinking 'how do they <i>know</i>?' "stock up on things you actually need, walgreens" - 'what?! i TOTALLY needed all that stuff i bought online the other day! so what, i need a different pair of shoes for every day of the week!'... "take a spin and win, the wheel of fortune"<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/spincarispin.jpg"></center><br /><br />i swear the feds are following me around again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:151363 2007-09-03T04:34:07Z 2007-09-03T04:34:07Z check it out, i haven't not read 18 emails... or something<br /><br /><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/minus18unread.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:151058 2007-09-02T04:41:45Z 2007-09-02T04:41:45Z everything is fine now, i got my new wireless card in the mail yesterday and it works great. but this was a screencap i took a few days ago when i couldn't get online for more than 3 seconds at a time and when i did manage it, the cordless phone ringing would disable it. i was so irritated and helpless that it was almost poetic when i saw this:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.carielewyn.com/images/storyofmylife.jpg"></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:carielewyn:150840 2007-08-28T08:23:29Z 2007-08-28T08:23:29Z i'm a cynic so i'm really not being sarcastic this time, i really want to know...<br /><br />what is the meaning of christmas to each one of you?<br /><br />lately i've been seeing the word "believe" on embellishments and christmas decor and it sure is a nice change from the usual "noel" and "st nick" and other annoying crap like that. so i started thinking hey, it actually gives the whole christmas thing a good vibe to put words like "believe" and "joy" all around.<br /><br />then it hit me how christmas is about believing in a hope of something that, i dunno, i'm trying not to be all assholish and say "in something that ISN'T REAL!" but i shocked myself in how grinch-like i am about the whole thing. see, to me christmas just means another parent lied to their kid about something. and it's not even something worthwhile like brush your teeth or bugs will eat them, or don't play with fire or you'll pee in your bed. it just seems like santa claus is a pointless lie. wouldn't kids rather know how hard the parents and relatives worked in order to make them happy by buying them new toys? why would anyone look forward to some fat stranger to sneak into your house while you're sleeping? especially if he *knows* whether you've misbehaved. how would some random stranger know unless they had some super power? so it's a fat stranger with superpowers. doc oct comes to mind, not sugar plums.<br /><br />anyway back to the point, it hit me that some people actually associate chrismas and santa and all that stuff i call crap with something hopeful and good. i almost couldn't process it. i don't know how or what i <i>thought</i> they felt but it was actually a shock to me to realize that people have kindness and good fortune in mind. yeah, for the most part i disagree with any normal way of parenting and i always think in the back of my head that everyone is out to get children.<br /><br />so back to my original question to you guys, whoever reads this, i get that it's about *believe*. but believe in what? i can't put that together with the fat super-stranger. what big thing is he supposed to represent that makes us quote the word BELIEVE with such a hopeful stare-into-the-distance-movie-ending gleam in our eye? it can't be as shallow as believe you'll "get stuff".<br /><br />or do people just throw cool in-style words around without really stopping to think about them?